It was 2018, and I was having a personal and existential crisis, alongside a minor (but deeply felt) health crisis.
I was struggling with some big questions.
What is my purpose? Why am I here? I thought I was on the right path, so why do I feel so terrible?
I started to realize that I was going through a period of initiation…descending into the dark depths of the soul to be torn apart and then put back together.
I had been through an initiation experience once before, after the death of a dear friend in my early 20s. I had hoped to never go through such a deep, dark experience again. But of course, life had other plans.
My family could see that I was struggling, and they were (understandably) worried about me. My mother suggested therapy. I had been to therapy before and understood its value, and yet I knew that this was not the answer. I needed space to be alone, to be in deep prayer and reflection.
When I was out on a walk in a forest near my home, I went and sat with a grove of aspen trees that I frequently visit and commune with.
The trees clearly told me:
You have to go to Ireland. You have to go to Brigid’s sacred wells. This is how you will heal.
The message was so clear that I knew I had to listen. I also knew that a few weeks was not going to be enough. So I resolved to be there for two whole months.
When I told my husband what I needed to do, he was completely supportive. He helped to make it happen in so many ways (there are no words to describe what this meant to me, and still means to me).
I found a place to stay that was a short bike ride away from Brigid’s well at Faughart in Co. Louth (having a car for the length of my stay was not going to be possible). It was a lovely room in a traditional Irish home that was within my budget.
I could feel Brigid conspiring with me to make this happen.
Brigid’s well in Kildare, Ireland
And so, I arrived in Ireland.
I remember the moment when I took off my shoes and put my feet on the bare earth…and I immediately began to cry.
I had been to Ireland before, but this time was different. There was a deep sense of homecoming to these ancestral lands. Memories from other lifetimes started to awaken in me.
Most of all, I felt Brigid with me.
I visited her sacred well at least a few times every week. I would make prayers and feel the land and the waters healing me. Healing my body, yes, but even more so, my soul.
Clooties at Brigid’s well
I started to put myself back together, piece by piece…fully present to my initiatory metamorphosis journey.
I began to realize how much I had given away my true power throughout my life. I got to the root of my illness. And with the love and support of Brigid, I was able to transform my pain into deep medicine.
By the time Justin (my husband) arrived to visit me after six weeks apart, he said that he saw the change in me. We traveled around Ireland together, and I experienced more rememberings and awakenings. And when it was time to head home, I knew that my journey with Brigid would continue in ever-evolving and life-giving ways.
I now understand that the medicine I found in Ireland was not just meant for me…but a gift to share with others.
Gabhaim Molta Bríghde (I Praise Brigid), an ancestral song from Ireland.
It’s been ten years now that I have felt goddess Brigid’s presence and guidance in my life.
She has been a steady source of love and strength, and she has helped me through some of the most challenging times in my life.
I’m certain that I will experience more initiatory journeys in my life, and I trust that Brigid will be there, as she has always been there…even before I was consciously aware of her presence.
Brigid is truly the goddess of my heart, and I am so excited to share some of her wisdom teachings with you at my upcoming event, Ancient Feminine: A ceremonial journey to awaken your ancient feminine power through the mysteries of Goddess Brigid.
This is a free event happening on February 1st, which is Brigid’s sacred festival of Imbolg (make sure to register here).
I’m also so thrilled to announce that I will be running Daughters of the Flame again this year!
This is a powerful 20-day devotional journey to embody your ancient feminine wisdom as one of Brigid’s sacred fire keepers. The transformations that took place last year in our circle of sisterhood were truly profound.
Doors are now open for this journey of awakening, healing and sacred remembrance. Make sure to attend the free event for all the details about Daughters of the Flame.